The False Gospel of Patriarchy

Just tell her to shut up and everything will be better, bro

Yesterday, which happened to be April 1st, I posted some brief thoughts about the importance of a husband prioritizing his wife's spiritual health- making sure she is in the Word, in prayer, freeing her up to go to women's events at church, etc.

I did not expect for multiple people to respond to this post wondering if it was an April Fool's Day joke. But while this took me by surprise, in retrospect, it makes perfect sense.

I'm Not Welcome In The Longhouse

Firstly, I'd like to establish my patriarchal bona fides. These are not for the purpose of impressing those folks who judge arguments based solely on whether they match the Approved Narrative of their tribe. These are for demonstrating to the thoughtful reader that I am, in fact, not a longhouse-dwelling feminist operative who reports back to the church ladies at the end of every day.

I believe that the husband is the king of the home, and that he has the right, the duty, and the plenary authority to rule his home well for the good of his people (1 Pet. 3, Eph. 5).

I debated in defense of patriarchy against complementarianism.

I believe that a female pastor- or a female anything that is vested with church authority- is as Biblical as a homosexual marriage- which is to say, as possible as a round square (1 Tim. 2:12).

I believe that when women are in positions of civil authority it is a sign of judgment on a nation (Is. 3:12).

I believe that God designed women primarily for the roles of helper, wife, and mother (Gen. 1-3, Titus 2).

I have argued for these things for years. I've been smashing feminist plot points in Hollywood movies since I was a wet-behind-the-ears teenage blogger. I'm really, really bad at making the tone-policing church ladies happy, in other words.

I've punched left on this issue so much that my knuckles have callouses an inch thick, and, until five minutes ago, I was on the bleeding edge of the Christian anti-feminist right.

I mostly just go into the longhouse to flip over the tables.

HOWEVER. I also have no intention of joining the Patriarchians at their shrine of Adonis. Laying aside the honest pursuit of truth in Christ is bad, regardless whether you do it to please the ladies at church or the bros on Twitter. (Gal. 1:10)

IN FACT, refusing to buck the Approved Narrative of the tribe or to speak the truth when it is unpopular with the masculinity bros is to commit the sin of effeminacy.

Which, last I checked, is the first of the Seven Deadly Sins of Patriarchianity.

Therefore, and also because only punching one direction is terrible for the masculine physique, I am currently turning my attention to the shrine of Adonis, in hopes that that high place too can be toppled.

1. The False Gospel of Patriarchy

Within patriarchal circles, a pattern has emerged that is one of emphasis and not of technical doctrine (yet).

There is a consistent presentation of the problem of society being one of feminism.

I don’t mean a problem of society. Feminism is a problem of society. It is a glaring and poisonous problem of society. It needs to be eradicated.

No, I mean the problem of society.

In this new patriarchal gospel, the corrupting power of sin in the unregenerate heart has been replaced by the corrupting power of feminism in the air of the longhouse.

And how can we be free from the body of this matriarchy? Thanks be to the manosphere through Andrew Tate, our bro!

If we can just smash enough feminism and burn down enough longhouses and get enough men to tell women to shut up, we can still save America!

No longer is patriarchy an application of the Gospel – it has become the gospel. No longer is it a Biblical principle – it is the Bible.

2. The Technicality Game

I see the objections coming already. “Who is defending Andrew Tate? Who says we don’t need the Gospel? Who denies that there are other sins?”

That’s why I said at the outset that this is an error of emphasis, not of technical doctrine (yet, although pretty soon somebody is likely to resurrect Augustine’s idea that women don’t bear the Imago Dei in themselves, and then stuff is gonna get real fun).

Any of the guys in these circles – if they claim to be Christian, and if you pin them down for a three hour long podcast or catch them tweeting on a good day - they will talk about other sins. They may even refer to Jesus a few times.

But wisdom and discernment require looking at fruits (Luke 7:35). Just because someone subscribes to an orthodox confession of faith and can articulate Christian theology does not mean that they therefore get a free pass to say whatever they want without accountability or push-back. That’s not what Christian unity means.

When the fruits of folly are flourishing, it is good and right to call it out, and not to accept “hey I believe the Westminster!” for an answer.

3. Women’s Bible Studies

The arguments over women’s Bible studies are an excellent case in point. It has become a shibboleth of the patriarchal community that if one is a true and manly Christian, one condemns women’s Bible studies unequivocally. (One also prophesies the impending demise of Allie Beth Stuckey.)

If you do not do these things, you are not welcome at the shrine of Adonis.

But while women’s Bible studies could be a gateway drug for the female pastorate, they could also be a healthy application of Titus 2 and Pr. 31. And while ABS could go the way of Beth Moore, your favorite patriarchal Christian pastor could also go the way of Bill Gothard.

The fact that I would post something that mentions church events for ladies and people would wonder if it is an April Fool's joke is an incredible illustration of just how ridiculous the dialogue of the online patriarchal Christian community has become.

I’m not faulting the people who were unsure about my post. I’m faulting the machismo-drunk Patriarchianity that got us here.

We can discuss applications of Biblical principles. I agree with some of the foundational concerns about ABS and women’s Bible studies.

Also, my wife is immensely blessed by a yearly ladies’ retreat with ladies from church.

Believe it or not, she doesn’t come back from it trying to overthrow the patriarchy.

We should all refuse to set up an immature tribe of Patriarchal Pharisees. Christians can disagree on this stuff and sharpen each other in love.

4. “Shut Up, Woman!”

This whole “we are manly patriarchy dudes and it is a time of war so quit tone-policing us” thing is just a fancy way of ignoring what the Bible says about speech.

Specifically, there is an attitude of rudeness and dismissiveness towards women that is just reverse DEI.

Examples that I have actually seen are statements like “the world would be a better place if more men told women to shut up,” or responding to a woman by simply saying “go home.”

More broadly, we see things like blaming the fact that Amy Coney Barrett made a bad decision on the fact that she is a woman.

Now look, I agree that leading in the city gates is a man’s job. But guys, the male judges have made bad decisions too. Like I said, this is just reverse DEI- seeing everything through the prism of sex, just the opposite direction.

If we believe that men and women are different and that men are stronger and that men are called to be like Christ and care for the weak, that should manifest in how we talk. We should have Christ-like humility toward all (1 Pet. 5) and especially those who are weaker than we (1 Tim. 5).

Yes, we should rebuke the sins of women.

Believe it or not, this can be done without saying “shut up and go home, you rebellious hag.”

5. Talking Like Adults

This applies to conversation in general, too. Just because someone is male isn’t license then to jettison Biblical guidelines about speaking to them with humility, wisdom, and gentleness (Pr. 15:1).

Yes, there is a place for sarcasm and even mockery. But they are not the gold standard for Christian communication (Eph. 4:29).

This “I’m name calling because I’m giving you a masculine rebuke” thing is just an excuse for immaturity cloaked in pseudo-Biblical language.

True masculine patriarchy is summed up in Jesus Christ. Truth AND love. Strong AND gentle. Servant AND king. Lion AND lamb.

If you want Christless patriarchy, there’s already a religion for that. It’s called Islam.

But enough about Andrew Tate.